Why You Feel Like a Fraud (Even When You’re Not)

Part One in the series: “Unmasking the Imposter – An IFS-Informed Guide to Reclaiming Your Worth”
By Angela M Carter, IFS Therapist

I’ve been a therapist for over 30 years, and I’ll tell you the truth:
There are still moments I hear a voice in my head whisper,
“Who do you think you are?”

It used to arrive before I stood up in a room full of people to share my knowledge.
Now, it sometimes shows up when I post something meaningful online, when someone calls me an expert, or when I step into a new chapter in my business or life.

That voice doesn’t come from nowhere.
It comes from a part of me—a part that still fears being seen and possibly not being enough.

And I know I’m not the only one.

Because the women I work with—brilliant, thoughtful, deeply compassionate women—tell me the same thing:

• “I feel like a fraud.”

• “People think I’ve got it all together, but I’m terrified I’m about to be found out.”

• “I can’t let anyone see how unsure I really feel inside.”

• “If they knew what it took to hold it all together, they’d never admire me.”

This is what we call imposter syndrome.

But under the IFS lens, we see it for what it really is:
A whole system of protective parts working hard to keep us safe.

Imposter Syndrome Isn’t a Problem—It’s a Family of Parts

What we call “imposter syndrome” is not one thing.
It’s a collection of voices, emotions, behaviours, and beliefs that live in your internal system.

Each one has a role.
Each one is trying to help you survive.
Each one developed in response to something painful, embarrassing, or overwhelming in your past.

Here are just some of the parts that often make up the imposter syndrome family:

• The Perfectionist who believes one wrong move will ruin everything

• The Critic who judges you harshly to keep you humble and protected

• The Overachiever who’s terrified to slow down in case you’re called lazy or unworthy

• The Minimiser who downplays your success before someone else does

• The Avoider who won’t let you start, because if you don’t try, you can’t fail

• The Comparer, the Chameleon, the Part That Fears Success, the Part That Fears Being Seen

Every one of these parts is doing its best.

They believe the world isn’t fully safe.
That visibility is vulnerability.
That love or approval must be earned.

And they are trying—bless them—to help you stay connected, in control, or invisible enough to avoid harm.

The Exile Beneath the Mask

When we slow down and listen to these parts, they often reveal a deeper pain beneath their protection.

A young part. A wounded part. A tender exile who carries messages like:

• “I have to be perfect to be loved.”

• “If people see the real me, they’ll reject me.”

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “They’ll leave.”

For me, that exile is the little girl who felt invisible at times, whose tears were too loud, whose brilliance wasn’t always celebrated—so she learned to perform, prove, and pretend.
Even now, that young part sometimes fears that if I’m fully myself, I’ll somehow get it wrong.

But I’ve learned how to turn toward her with love.
Not to fix her. Not to silence her. But to let her know:

I see you. I’ve got you now. You don’t have to protect me like that anymore.

And slowly, with care, that internal system calms.

Try This: Mapping the Parts of Your Inner Imposter

This simple journaling reflection will help you begin identifying the parts that may be making up your version of imposter syndrome.

Step One: Name the Voice
Think of a time when you felt like a fraud or feared being “found out.”
Then write:
“There’s a part of me that…”

For example:

• “…worries I’m not qualified enough.”

• “…pushes me to do more so I feel worthy.”

• “…tells me to shrink so I don’t upset anyone.”

Let each part speak. No judgement. Just noticing.

Step Two: Ask the Part Some Gentle Questions

• “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do your job?”

• “What do you want for me?”

• “How old do you think I am?”

You might be surprised what emerges.

Step Three: Respond From Self Place your hand on your heart and write one kind sentence to the part: “Thank you for protecting me. I see you. I want to understand you better.”

That’s all. That’s where it begins.

Final Thoughts

Imposter syndrome doesn’t mean you’re a fraud.
It means you’re human.
A human with parts who once had to hide, hustle, or perform to feel safe.

But now… you get to relate to those parts differently.

You get to lead.
From Self.
With compassion.
With courage.
With the quiet knowing that your worth isn’t up for debate.

You’ve always belonged here.

With abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls, 

Angela xox 

Next up: The Perfectionist Part: “If I Get It Right, They Won’t Find Me Out”