Why Private Practice Can Feel So Isolating

Part One in the series: Behind the Practice – Navigating the Real Challenges of Running a Private Practice
By Angela M Carter, IFS Therapist

People think running your own business means freedom.

Freedom to set your hours.
To design your work week.
To choose who you work with.
To have lunch on your own deck instead of in a breakroom.

And yes, all of that can be true.

But what people don’t talk about is the loneliness.
The echo that fills the space when the last client leaves the room.
The part of you that misses team meetings (even the tedious ones).
The way you scroll, searching for someone who gets it, while wondering if you’re the only one who feels this alone.

Private practice doesn’t just make you your own boss.
It can make you your own everything.

And that can be a heavy weight to carry—especially in silence.

Private Practice Can Feel Like a Dream on Paper—and a Lot in Real Life

When I transitioned fully into private work, I was excited.
I had vision. Autonomy. Possibility.

But what I didn’t expect was the long stretches of aloneness—the lack of a hallway to debrief in, the absence of casual peer encouragement, the quiet ache after a hard session with no one to process it with.

I had no one to bounce ideas off.
No built-in colleagues to laugh with or lean on.
And no team to catch the wobble when I had one.

There were days I’d finish seeing clients and just sit in silence.
Not because I needed more reflection—but because I had no one to speak to.

And what made it harder?
The assumption that I should love it.
That this was the “goal.”
That choosing freedom meant forfeiting community.

But the truth is—freedom without connection can feel like exile.

Why Loneliness Hits So Hard in Private Practice

In IFS, loneliness isn’t just a feeling—it’s often a sign that parts of us are holding burdens that haven’t had space to be witnessed.

The loneliness in private practice isn’t just about physical isolation.
It’s about:

• The part that doubts herself after a quiet week

• The part that feels unseen because no one knows the care you’re pouring into your work

• The part that feels like there’s no one safe enough to say, “This is hard, and I don’t know what I’m doing”

• The part that fears being judged by peers if you're struggling to fill your calendar, raise your fees, or recover from burnout

It’s the paradox of being deeply connected to your clients… while feeling deeply disconnected from your peers.

You’re Not the Only One Holding This

One of the most healing moments for me came during a supervision group, when I finally said out loud:
“I love my work. But I hate how alone I feel doing it.”

And across the screen, I saw every single head nod.

It wasn’t just me.
It was all of us.

Brilliant, seasoned, devoted women in private practice—each carrying that same silent ache.

It didn’t fix everything. But it did something just as important:

It reminded my system: I’m not broken. I just need belonging.
And I can create that. Slowly. Intentionally. With care.

Try This: A Gentle Reflection for When You Feel Alone in Your Work

Step One: Name the Part That’s Feeling It
Write:
“There’s a part of me that feels alone when…”
Let it speak freely. It might share feelings of invisibility, exhaustion, comparison, or missing connection.

Step Two: Ask the Part What It Longs For
Gently ask:

• “What would make this feel more manageable?”

• “What kind of connection are you missing?”

• “When was the last time you felt supported?”

Let the answers surprise you.

Step Three: Offer One Act of Connection
From your Self, ask:

• “What’s one small way I can offer connection today?”

Maybe it’s:

• Sending a voice message to a colleague

• Joining a peer group or supervision circle

• Starting a text thread with one trusted practitioner friend

• Naming your need in a place that feels safe

You don’t need to build a village in a day.
You just need to start inviting one part of you back into belonging.

Final Thoughts

You are not the only one sitting in that quiet office wondering if you’ve made a mistake.
You are not the only one craving a colleague’s nod, a coffee, a “me too.”

Private practice can be isolating.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

You can create containers of connection.
You can build community that doesn’t ask you to hustle or hide.

And most of all, you can stay connected to your Self—
So you never have to navigate the path alone, even when it feels that way.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls,

Angela xox 

Next up: You Can’t Pour From an Empty Calendar: The Hidden Shame of an Unbooked Diary