How to Promote Yourself Without Feeling Like a Fraud

Part Five in the series: Behind the Practice – Navigating the Real Challenges of Running a Private Practice
By Angela M Carter, IFS Therapist

There’s something quietly confronting about the moment you sit down to promote your work.

You’re proud of what you offer. You know it helps people.

But suddenly your mind is filled with noise:

• “I don’t want to sound pushy.”

• “What if people think I’m full of myself?”

• “What if no one responds?”

• “Who am I to take up space?”

You stare at the screen. You write. You delete.
You maybe post something… and then feel immediately exposed.

Welcome to marketing as a private practitioner.

It’s not that you don’t have something valuable to offer.

It’s that a whole system of parts gets activated the moment you try to offer it publicly.

Visibility Is Vulnerability for Many Practitioners

In IFS, we see resistance to visibility not as sabotage, but as protection.

When you market your work, you’re not just promoting a service. You’re:

• Sharing your voice

• Claiming your space

• Risking rejection

• Reconnecting with old beliefs about worth, approval, and enoughness

So it’s no wonder you hesitate.

The performer part wants to sound “professional enough.”
The critic second-guesses every word.
The comparer stalks other practitioners’ pages and tells you you’re not there yet.
The chameleon tries to write in someone else’s voice to “fit in.”
The exile underneath it all whispers:
“If people really see me, they’ll turn away.”

This isn’t about not knowing how to market.
It’s about not feeling safe enough to be seen.

A Personal Reflection: When My Voice Felt Too Big and Too Small

I remember writing one of my first social media posts after moving into private practice.

I wanted it to sound confident—but not too bold.
Professional—but still human.
Warm—but not “too emotional.”

By the time I posted it, I didn’t recognise my own voice.

Why? Because a part of me was terrified of being seen.
She remembered times in my life when visibility brought judgement, not safety.

That part wasn’t trying to block my business.
She was trying to protect my heart.

And when I turned toward her with compassion, I could finally write from a deeper truth.

Now, I share from Self—not from the part trying to get it “just right.”

And that feels more powerful than perfect ever could.

Marketing From Self Is an Act of Integrity

You don’t have to sell.
You don’t have to convince.
You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room.

You just have to be in your voice.
Rooted. Real. Relational.

When you market from Self:

• Your message becomes an offering, not a performance

• Your content feels like connection, not exposure

• Your business begins to reflect your wholeness—not just your skillset

Try This: Reclaiming Your Voice in Visibility

This reflection invites you to explore what marketing activates in your system and helps you reconnect with your grounded voice.

Step One: Identify the Block
Write:
“When I try to market myself, I notice…”
Let your parts speak. You might feel fear, shame, confusion, dread, or pressure.

Step Two: Ask What the Part Is Protecting
Choose one part (e.g., the perfectionist or avoider) and ask:

• “What are you afraid will happen if I share myself fully?”

• “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

• “What are you trying to protect me from?”

You might uncover early memories of being shamed, ignored, or misunderstood.

Step Three: Write From Self
Now respond from your grounded, compassionate centre:

“Thank you for protecting me.
I know visibility has felt unsafe before.
But I promise—I won’t abandon you here.
We can show up in our truth, one step at a time.”

Step Four: Share One Small Thing
This could be:

• Posting a simple quote that resonates

• Sharing why you love the work you do

• Describing how a client might feel before and after working with you (without pushing for a sale)

• Writing something from your voice—not someone else’s template

Let it be honest. Let it be yours.

Final Thoughts

Marketing doesn’t have to feel like manipulation.
It doesn’t have to feel like exposure, either.

It can feel like invitation—an honest offering of what you hold, and who it’s for.

You don’t need a brand voice.
You need your voice.

And when you speak from Self,
you don’t just attract clients.

You attract connection. Clarity. Confidence.

And most importantly—you attract yourself, returning home to your truth.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls,

Angela xox 

Next up: Feast or Famine: The Nervous System Cost of Inconsistent Income