Meeting Fear with the Strength of Who You Are

When you hear the word courage, what comes to mind?

For years, I thought it meant being strong, stoic, and brave in the face of adversity—charging forward, chin up, no tears allowed. Maybe you’ve thought that too. We grow up with images of courage that often look like superheroes or warriors, standing tall and fearless.

But real courage—the kind I see every day in the women I work with—is far more subtle. And much more sacred.

It’s the mum who’s exhausted but still gets out of bed to show up for her kids.
It’s the woman who finally tells her partner, “This isn’t working for me.”
It’s the survivor who says, “I’m ready to look at this part of my past.”
It’s the woman who walks away from a toxic job, even though the unknown terrifies her.

Courage, in its truest form, is about facing what scares you—not with force, but with love.

Fear Isn’t the Problem—It’s the Protector

In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, which I now use with women from all walks of life, we talk a lot about parts. We all have them—little sub-personalities that form in response to life’s experiences. One of the most common parts we all carry is fear.

Fear shows up in so many ways:

• The voice that says, “What if I fail?”

• The tightness in your chest before you speak your truth.

• The part that freezes every time you get close to something you really want.

It might sound surprising, but fear is not the problem. It’s a protector. It’s a part of you that learned long ago that the world can be hard, that rejection hurts, and that safety sometimes comes through staying small or silent.

And here’s the thing: that part is doing its best. It’s just trying to keep you safe.

What Courage Really Looks Like

Living a courageous life isn’t about getting rid of fear. It’s about turning toward it—with tenderness.

It’s saying, “I see you. I know you’re scared. But I’ve got this now.”

Courage might look like:

• Saying no when you’ve spent your life being a people pleaser.

• Booking a therapy session after years of coping on your own.

• Setting a boundary with someone you love.

• Speaking up in a meeting, even if your voice shakes.

• Letting yourself cry, even if you’ve always been the one holding it all together.

Every act of courage—no matter how small—rewrites your story. It tells your system, I am safe to take up space. I am allowed to have needs. I am allowed to change.

You Don’t Have to Feel Brave to Be Brave

One of the biggest myths about courage is that you have to feel courageous to be courageous. You don’t.

Courage isn’t about being free from fear. It’s about having enough connection to your inner Self to act anyway—even when your voice is trembling or your stomach is doing somersaults.

There’s a quiet strength that lives inside all of us. And even if it’s been buried under years of conditioning, trauma, or self-doubt, it’s still there. Still waiting. Still ready.

This Is Personal

I’ve had moments when fear felt like it was running my life. Times when I stayed silent to keep the peace. Times when I shrunk myself to stay in relationships. Times when a part of me believed it wasn’t safe to be seen.

But every single time I turned towards that fear instead of running from it, I reclaimed a little more of myself. That’s the gift of courage—it doesn’t just move you forward. It brings you home.

Try This: A Courage Letter

Here’s a practice to help you build a relationship with your courage. It’s simple, but powerful.

Step One:
Grab a notebook or journal. Sit somewhere quiet.

Step Two:
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Let yourself settle.
Now imagine a moment in your life when you needed to be brave—or when you were.

Step Three:
Write a letter to yourself from the part of you that holds courage.
It might begin with: “Dear [your name], I know this has been hard. But here’s what I want you to know…”
Let the words come without editing. Let them be kind. Let them be honest.

Step Four:
Read it back to yourself, out loud if you can. Let those words sink in.

Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come until we stop and speak to ourselves with love.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to climb mountains to be courageous.
You just have to keep showing up—for yourself.
One choice at a time. One breath at a time.

Your courage may not roar.
But it will guide you gently toward a life that feels more true, more free, and more yours.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls,

Angela xox