The Power of Loving All Your Parts

Let me ask you something gently:

What’s your first reaction when you make a mistake?

Do you shrug it off with kindness? Or do you hear a voice inside that says something like “You should’ve known better” or “What’s wrong with you?”

If you nodded at the second one, you’re not alone.

Many of us have parts that are quick to criticise, correct, or punish—especially when we’re already hurting. These parts often learned that being hard on ourselves was the only way to stay safe, acceptable, or in control.

But here’s the thing:

You cannot shame yourself into healing.
You cannot criticise yourself into wholeness.
You cannot abandon parts of yourself and expect to feel complete.

What you can do—what Self can do—is love. And that love starts with compassion.

What Real Compassion Looks Like

When I speak about compassion in my work with women, I’m not talking about sugary positivity or toxic niceness. I’m not asking you to slap a smile on top of your pain.

True compassion is fierce.
It’s honest.
It’s the voice that says, “This hurts, and I won’t turn away.”

Compassion is the energy of Self that leans in when a part of you is breaking. It doesn’t try to fix or silence. It just stays present. It listens. It sees. It offers comfort without conditions.

And that, for many women, can feel revolutionary.

Why It’s So Hard to Be Kind to Ourselves

If you’ve ever struggled with self-compassion, please hear this: it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because somewhere along the line, you internalised the message that love must be earned.

That if you’re not achieving, pleasing, or perfecting, you’re not worthy.

Those messages usually come from early experiences—family dynamics, school environments, cultural narratives. They become parts that carry burdens of shame and performance. And those parts can block compassion at the door.

But when we meet those protectors with compassion, something shifts.

They soften.
They listen.
They begin to trust that there’s another way.

Self-Compassion vs Self-Indulgence

Let’s clear something up.

Being compassionate doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook for everything. It doesn’t mean avoiding accountability or difficult conversations. Quite the opposite.

Self-compassion creates the inner safety needed for real growth.

When you stop shaming yourself, your nervous system settles. Your parts stop bracing. You can actually hear the quiet wisdom of your Self—and make choices from love, not fear.

A Moment from My Own Life

I remember a time I snapped at someone I loved. A part of me was overwhelmed and took over. The moment passed, but the guilt didn’t. A strong inner critic came in fast and harsh: “You’re a therapist—you should know better.”

But instead of spiralling, I paused. I took a breath. I placed a hand on my heart and said to that critical voice, “I know you’re trying to help me do better. But I also need to be kind to myself right now.”

It was a simple act. But it changed everything.

I apologised. I repaired the relationship. But I didn’t abandon myself in the process. That’s compassion. And it’s always available to us, no matter the circumstance.

Try This: Journaling with Compassionate Curiosity

This gentle journaling practice helps you explore the parts of you that most need your compassion right now.

Step One: Set the Scene
Light a candle, make a cup of tea, and create a soft space to write. Invite in your Self-energy—calm, warm, curious.

Step Two: Begin with This Prompt:
“There’s a part of me that I struggle to love. It usually shows up when…”

Let yourself write freely. No censoring. No editing. Just let that part’s story come through.

Step Three: Then ask yourself:

• What does this part believe about me?

• What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t show up this way?

• What might it need from me instead of judgement?

Step Four: Finish with this gentle reminder:
“All parts of me are welcome. Even this one. Especially this one.”

Take a breath. Place your hand over your heart. Let those words settle in.

Final Thoughts

Compassion is not weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can offer yourself.

It creates the space where healing becomes possible—where parts come forward not to be fixed, but to be felt.

So today, if nothing else, let this be your mantra:
“I can be a work in progress and worthy of love at the same time.”

Because you are. Always.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls,

Angela xox